“When a woman says no, she does not mean it. If she says nothing, she means perhaps. If she says yes, she is no woman. If a diplomat says no, he means it. If he says nothing, it means perhaps… If he says yes, he is no diplomat.” (16 September 1982)

“It is an enigma.
One is the Dakini,
a help on the way.
The other is a Yakshi,
only meant to stray..”

Girls, girls, girls. Suddenly there were girls everywhere. In the streets, in magazines from cover to cover, on television, in cinema. Gosh! What was going on? Maybe our eyes finally opened wide enough to acknowledge the feminine version of our species, as if they had just landed on Earth. And all we did was gape at them while they catwalked and dogwalked and kangaroo walked in front of our eyes, wearing a new dress everyday. Miss Universe, Miss World, Miss Asia, Miss India, Miss North East, Miss Shillong, Miss Wahdiengling. (Hey! Where's my miss?) Her mind was relegated to the background, it was her body that was obvious.

“Enough!
I don't want to look
at pouting lips
and glaring eyes,
at long legs doing catwalk
with a hard rock
in their heads.
Give me eyes,
eyes that can really see
and speak -
the language of the heart.
Rags that beggars wear
are better than
the pusillanimous things
that cover our foolish women,
who GIVE consent
and WEAR a smile.
Those bewildered faces
peeking from magazine covers -
How easily they reach
dustbins and make friends
with assorted creatures
in our backyard!”

I had my fair share of grappling with the great mystique of womanhood. It was just another version of Eve complaining about a silly headache in the Garden of Eden. That was how he discovered his Third Eye. He closed his two eyes. For most people see nothing, but one day Adam realized that when he closed his two eyes he could actually see much better. Adam gave a damn to Eve, but now he could see her - the way She really was, so he stopped giving her a damn and for once he listened. He actually really listened but She said nothing. Well, there was nothing to be said. He finally understood her silence in the reflection of the moon, one quiet night in a lake in Eden.

“I have been brooding
over this pain,
that giving of your heart
and taking it back again.
Love cast its magical spell
when your subtle charms
reminded the wishes
of a lonely moon.
Once again, tonight
sleep will make its way
through the pathways
of uncertain dreams,
but I am still waiting
for a trusting look
from your innocent eyes...
Though love is still a question mark
Somehow, you are the answer.”

Why is the world suddenly gone so crazy to know what goes on in a woman's mind? Does the adolescent surge of pink dreams laced with passion become inhibited by bumping against the insensitivity of immature males? The cyclic awareness of the need for Him, suppressed by the onslaught of the ambition to become bold. To be someone - bigger than his heart can hold? And yes, does She feel lonely? In spite of her smile, her self serving instinct, her understanding that love hurts, or does it, really?

In India, Pakistan and Bangladesh, it is rare to meet a woman who likes being a woman. Most still bear a silent grudge being the weaker gender. But the term weak is relative. All that cleaning, dusting and polishing... how can anyone in sane mind enjoy doing day in and day out? And most of all, fail to question if it could be otherwise? The joys of a sublime union invariably draws her towards the prospect of bearing the child of the man she loves. Is that what she wants? Always?

The early years of caring for a fragile being, that is created by the failure to merge in complete oneness with the object of her affection, results in a thrilling rush of total power. (Whoever looked at a baby and remained unaffected?) It is then that the feeling of helplessness is accounted for. To be in love is to feel helpless before the beloved, and to endure the fact that deeper love demands lesser reciprocity, has always taken a toll in human relationship.

Only in a fraction of the world, women are empowered to become their own personalities, who are able to make their own choices at par with men in all affairs. Until a woman is able to make her own choices independently, there is no such thing as love because she longs for a Prince Charming to set her free from her self imposed debility... so that she can love with the fullness of her heart.

“She has suffered
innumerable agonies
on every latitude
of the globe,
but clad in a sari
she misunderstood her powers.
Willingly killed her vanity
in the kitchen
and washed her man's passions
with her own warm blood.
Looking without seeing,
her beauty is a frown
of a contemplative struggle within -
the surface of fleeting emotions
that words fail to describe.
Her platitudes
tell of shattered loves,
a faint glimmer in her eyes reveal
hope in fragments,
disappointed by the enigma
of her lover's heart.”

It is time for her to realize that shyness and vulnerability is only one beautiful corner of her personality. Throw care to the winds and simply assert oneself, never mind the consequences, while we nurse the wounds of our precious ego which always come in the way... Passion has became the most essential attribute of personality, not passion really, but the release of pent up frustrations and desperate neediness, something that is evident more as apathy than the vigorous joy of living so few possess.

They all seem to follow a similar law. Hardly claim responsibility for what they do or do not do. They go along, perfectly detached, molding themselves, changing hairstyles, unaware of that subtle force being exerted by cable TV and marketing gimmicks and if anything goes wrong, someone has to pay. There has to be accountability! Accountability to What??

We are in the 21st Century, but Kaya (played by Udita Goswami) is still in dilemma in Paap¹ and there is still a hiatus between the Lover and the Wife or Common-Law partner. Depending on where you are reading this, you will ask, “What is Paap?” or “What is Common-Law partner?” and Something Divine will say: Watch the movie “Ankahee” or “Salaam-e-Ishq” with English subtitles or Google the term, “Common-Law partner.”

We started with “Tight Jeans, Loose Morals” but there are also many who are more typical of “Loose Jeans and Tight Morals!! “Ouch!!”

(.*_*.)

1. Sin, a movie by Pooja Bhatt