“If you want to have enemies, show yourself superior to your friends. If you want to have friends, let everyone appear greater than you.”
(28 July, 1983)

A fresh new page like so many beginnings. One more cloud removed from my skies for me to see that I am in center stage. Others perceived my dilly-dallying as indecision, while to me, everything was plainly evident. The superficiality all around, I had become weary from speaking too much truth with recalcitrant souls, nothing very worthwhile to commit oneself deeply, when one knows the real nature of things. To understand the essence as change, no effort is required to capture reality. Reality is engaged in being, becoming. We only figure somewhere in that cosmic, metaphysical journey and that is why we vision dreams to come true, going somewhere, even inside of oneself. A lot of times we contradict the pace, the forces pushing us or pulling us, opposing beyond our control and we realize in the end, that we were moving endless circles. One breaks the circle, the phantasmagoria of narcissism, when one breaks through the shell of the persona and then we move in a more beautiful journey, the journey where life is a river and love is the boat. Suddenly, it is calm.

“A void inside
for warmth of love
so long denied.
The common thread
weaving dreams of a singular passion
behind the natural waves of life
flowing in and out
of everybody's being.
The same smile
playing on all these disappointed faces,
lingeringly sadly
on the overlooked edges of consciousness.
The feelings are mundane
that with dying faith
a paltry inspiration
cannot sustain.
Someone calls,
Someone waits,
but always in a hurry
fails to see
the inner world
so real to me.”

“Your pain is anticipating the breaking of the spell and is restless to merge with joy. Even in the calmness of your mind you feel apprehensive of the contemplative process. Outside you could be another interesting person, just going through the blues, but inside? Are you sure you are a single entity? There is one professional who wants to succeed; then there is another compromising person who wants to be simple and pragmatic, while another emotional fellow...?? BUT the one perspective, the one mind behind all this - the truth of things as they are which is what matters to us, remains the same.”

“Defining what we want
is an example of ignorance
who we are.
This accumulated love
threatens to blow me up
smoldering passions
burning in the recesses
like entangling fetters
in the crowded minds of people,
the last disturbing ripples
dying away
into the placid waters.
One stupendous desire
of merging with the waves
that drowns all our misery.
One universal hope
across the globe
slowly growing
like a candle flame
in the calmness
of tranquil minds.
Dreams coming true
like the silent sky
forever blue...”

“You could easily tire in this scenario. Helpless and compelled to make something of this and keep on living. For a deeper knowledge, all this is futile, a total illusion with only a flicker of hope and a grain of truth that lives precariously. Even your carefully gathered self-knowledge deceives you of the right to joy, the hopes of your heart, the wishes to be spontaneous and securely connected to the total vibration of life.”

“This simple catharsis only contributes to shedding some weight of burdensome vibrations. In spite of all this, you need to revel in this very moment, and reflect it back against the bleak pessimism that surrounds you. A simple substitute to allay your loneliness you have never been able to accept.”

“Something within,
Something fragile
It nags me,
but what is it?
A sudden longing
fills this empty room,
I look around
but where is it?
Undiscovered
and yet familiar,
stirs with your thoughts,
how is it?
Makes me smile,
when there is nothing
but sadness,
why is it?”

“Somewhere, deep inside, there is a region of neutrality, where existence or non-existence doesn't matter. The breaking of illusions, the shattering of fantasies and the final submission to an inevitable reality. Chase the rainbow nevertheless, give what you have to give, only to fade into an oblivion whose wonders you are yet to know.”

To do something self actualizing, not decaying and getting lost in this temporal nightmare. To be in the sphere one dreams of, strives for and lives it. A conviction that genuinely calls the heart, to shape the world we inherit with brave ideas, living by a certain instinct that brings a strange wonderment, almost an adventure. “Status” is only a mental game played by the unwary, an act of separation from our essential being that knows no status at all.

“Truth
echoes in every heartbeat,
yet miles and miles
we tread to find
until, weary from our search,
the Rhythm of Life reminds
Innocence -
oblivious and trusting,
untarnished by facts
made with the dirt
of selfish knowledge
that we are
simply the pieces
of a dream coming true.
Right here,
in my unfolding palms
are the colors
for living is an art.”

The root of our frustration is a wounded silence at the deliberate estrangement where life seems a totally transactional experience. One achieves all that potential only so that one can transact those deals that are waiting. The mind comprehends all this, yet it has not enough nerve to break through these false impressions. The irony is mind boggling. Everyone is on a lonely platform in this quest. And when all hopes are gone, one starts wishing for a miracle.

The miracle is brewing...

It is not about conforming to any dubious social standard but being absolutely clear about the one reality beyond this temporal transience. Whenever external experiments take precedence and we constantly search for fulfillment in the external visible world only, we are disillusioned. For the time being, in this chaos of transition from the old world of isolation to the new interaction, the elements may be suppressed and disguised, playing their role in the murky backwaters of life. The thread runs through nevertheless and it will force its way relentlessly. It may not be flesh and blood as yet but it is a slow manifestation to an ultimate reality, the lifeline to human salvation.

“Just as every note, every sound lies on the ocean of silence - calm, undisturbed and infinite, so also all the tribulations of life rests on the endless peace - the peace where all is reconciled, all is regenerated and created again.”

We are confused by the acceleration of life in our environment. Our basic restless self is always in search of an identity, a reflection in terms of which to define itself and find comprehension. An agitation about one's self worth. To have this, to do this, not this pleasure but that kind of comfort. It is so difficult to pull these sticky layers of imposed opinions, and hold on to the peace inside. The agony and the ecstasy, to calm the soul, the mind and the body and be still, to be able to reflect and look at life unfolding. To discover that state of peace, of harmonious love and an endlessness which always is, no matter what, and to have the means to plunge into that enstasy, a quiet place to take refuge and return with the wisdom, re-affirmed.

“A certain part of you is a void. Pure, empty and silent. It is meant to be that and nothing else. Beyond the body, mind, soul and everything. A space which nothing can fill. That is your source. Everything owes its existence to that primordial energy. The glory of permanence. The Bliss. The Solitude. The Light. The Love.”

“Last night was a passionate one,
the embers of an ageless desire
lit up the darkness
and helpless thoughts of you
circled everywhere.
A holy feeling
so intensely preserved
surrounded by emptiness
is challenging its destiny.
The roaring waves of love -
Silence and Peace
quietly taking flight
in an endless sky.”

The only way to fly is to learn to let go. Living outside of that tranquil garden of infinity, compelled by forces beyond our control only to remember that we are headed for freedom.  A brighter dawn.

“Something kindled a fire within,
Was it your eyes?
Something trembled in my mind,
Was it your memory?
Something deep and lonely,
Was it my Angel Self?
Something that changed me,
Was it the raging tempest?
Something that lifted me into the sky,
Was it only a playful wind?
Someone, who softly whispered
You will not find your way
among the maze of streets
that man has made,
but keep on walking
and you will discover one day
that you are not mortal.”

Just a few paltry moments of pure love is all it takes and a whole mountain of conflicting ideas come tumbling down. The dust settles and one sees more clearly. Now there is a power, the infinite power, of the vulnerable spirit, of humility, of simplicity, of mystical analysis, of esoteric ideas, of occult phenomena, in other words, in the many, many struggles to manifest the divinity within and once it happens, just a little, the rest follows.

“Words fail to describe
the agony of understanding
that it is all about
You and me
trying to walk together
but failing to synchronize our paces,
longing for the ecstasy
surrounded by the gloom
of wandering loneliness
in the indifferent faces
full of boredom.
It is like soaring
defying the wisdom of fools
and finding meaning
in the trembling wishes
of a crazy heart.
Following a lonely faith
abandoned by the nihilistic world
holding on to nebulous ideas
burning in flames of pain,
knowing and knowing so well
the ending of the story.”

When truth is comprehended, facts become unimportant. One's wisdom can penetrate into the heart of the matter and problems take care of themselves. The world is yet to accept such innate empathy as the basis of its methods. We are still TOO concerned to build a better world for ourselves while the real world remains so easily accessible.

And so one wonders, how much does one require to be joyous? What is the method of that serene joy? The questions are pointless. Everyone in this world requires a unique perspective, a truly own way of looking at things. But this is stifled by the corpulent ways of a chaotic system. So the journey to our own perfection looks a formidable one. And when we have arrived, there remains to understand that our individuality is only like a vibration of sound, having emerged and returning into the fathomless silence, of the primordial and ultimate substance of everything.

Nothing stands between us and our blossoming. We may fall on the way, despair at the helplessness of life's giant tides, but we inch our way through to conquer the dream sleeping within. Our disillusionment is only an expression of that dormant wish that so longs to see the light of day. We lose our freedom and happiness in so many ways, in being fearful of tomorrow, in searching for ways to be happy, (because we already are) only we don't see the connection.

“You and I
are a circle,
each lifetime that was
a frantic rotation
of a restless urge
for the wonderment
of perfect stillness.

To love you
first by knowing
and then by forgetting.

To love you
first from afar
and then from near.

To love you
first in separation
and then in union.

To be born
and live for love
but love is forever.”

(.*_*.)